a woman’s perogative

A coworker from a job a few years back who had friended me on Facebook, one day out of the blue messaged me asking a possible favor: she might need help escaping from what had developed into an abusive relationship.

He was out of town for the weekend, planning to come back sometime Monday.  She was planning to be gone before he got back, taking her 3 year old son – not his – and what she could carry before he got back.

She was working on help from a girlfriend, but that was threatening to fall through or her girlfriend might not be able to get a car…

My jaw clenched, as it does.  But I was worried, and angry.  I offered to pick her up, get her and her son and what we could into my car, get her out of there.

As we messaged, I gave her my phone number, and I made a couple calls – I work in social services – asking advice on best shelter or emergency help for her.  I was still practicing Buddhism then, and between her Facebook messages – this happened slowly over the course of a few hours – I chanted for her.  She said she had already called the shelter I was suggested before and they had shrugged her off.  That seemed odd to me, probably more to do with her interpretation of the phone call then in her mental state, but to her I accepted what she said.

I even offered to let her and her son come stay with me, if everything else fell through.

And for me that is totally fucking blasting my comfort zone.   She said it wouldn’t be a good idea for her to stay with a man, if he found out it would make him worse.

This was a Saturday, into the evening.   Sunday, I didn’t hear from her, either by phone or Facebook.   I didn’t do much, in case she contacted me.

So nothing Sunday, or Monday.

Tuesday morning, finally.  She updates her Facebook page, changes her status to “liberated” or something like it – and updates how great she feels after such an amazing date with a new beau, her body still feels wonderful.  And tonight again..? Woo-hoo!!


Why am I a proverbial “nice guy” when this is what happens?  Like the fox who promised the rabbit he wouldn’t eat it, but did – I can’t help it, it’s my nature.

I am thinking about this because she just messaged me again asking if she used me as a reference could I fudge some information…


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