Men have kissed on Superbowl commercials before – in this 2007 Snickers ad.
In that one we actually get a closeup of two mechanics, furtively munching down on both ends of Snickers bar, nose to nose. Then lip to lip. At the moment of recognition they jump away from each other, yell “We’ve got to do something manly!” They pull their shirts up (hmm hmmm now…) and scream as they rip wads of chest hair off themselves.
This is actually quite a bit more “graphic” – even sexually – than the rejected ManCrunch.com commercial. Two typical guys, one even with a half-hearted comb-over, are watching the game, one yells “in your face” as his team scores, and then their hands accidently touch as they both grab into the potato chip bowl…
They grab each other and play face – but you don’t see the kiss. It is “how men kiss” in SNL skits – shot from the back, broad fumbling groping, heads bobbing back and forth. Not sexy – or even sexual – at all. (But I’m sure for some niche fetishists it is.)
You hear a guy singing what for all the world sounds like those corny retro Budweiser “Thank you, Mr. Zubaz Pants Wearing Guy, for making the rest of us fans look like fashionistas” commercials. “I wanna kiiiisssss this guy..!”
You think it’s going to be just a silly commercial for Lay’s or something. Like the Snickers ad. Then the Mancrunch.com bumper, and finally back to a third guy sitting next to them looking at them with incredulous shock.
There is nothing gay about this. And nothing enticing. It totally fails as a “recruitment” tool, if that’s what some people are frightened of. The two guys are not attractive. (I mean by television standards – both are more attractive than I am). The ManCrunch.com bumper come and goes so fast you barely have time to register it, to read its tagline. I can’t tell if the song is supposed to be over the top obnoxious and just for laughs, or a male version of “I Kissed a Girl”, or a serious lament.
Obviously, if this were for anything but a gay website – for lip balm or Lay’s or NFL jersey shop – or fetuses – there would be no problem. And I am waiting for the onslaught of youtube reduxes with something else popped in as the bumper.
CBS is the network that brings us CSI several times a week – how many CSI episodes don’t begin with the objectification of showing us the body of a sexy young woman murdered during or after kinky sex?
CBS is buckling under pressure, real or anticipated, from the good Christians of our nation, not to show two guys doing a comedy-skit “man kiss” followed by 3 seconds of a website name – but CBS is going to force you and me and 100 million Americans, including our children, to think about devout Pam Tebow having sex in the Philippines.