a conservative at the pearly gates

When you stand before God at your final reckoning, He will glance at the big book of your life – He doesn’t need to read it , He knows every word and comma in it, of course – and He will note,  “You were a Republican, a conservative, and of course a Christian.”

And you will nod.  “Of course, my Lord.”

“And when your president asked for your support when he raised the debt for you and your children to fund a war to invade a sovereign nation that did not attack yours, a nation which experts said was not a threat to yours, you agreed?”

“Yes my Lord,  he was a good Christian like myself, for he exulted your name in public, so I supported him as he smited our enemies and their children.”

“And when your president asked you to take on that debt while he lowered taxes for the very wealthiest, what did you do?”

“I believed this was in praise of You, for the wealthy are obviously righteous and deserving in Your eyes, for You have kept them free from want.”

“And when your president gave himself permission to suspend the rule of the Constitution at his discretion, and secretly read your emails and listened to your phone calls, you were not concerned and even supported him?”

“Yes my Lord, as I knew in my heart was a righteous Christian I therefore trusted his discretion and his wise leadership.”

“And when your president, as he was leaving office, increased you debt by giving  $700 billion in unsecured loans to help already-wealthy men who had proven they mismanaged the money already in their charge, you supported him?”

“Yes my Lord, those men had merely made human mistakes, and that is to be expected.”

“So you were willing to give this president of your money and of your freedom, when he asked you.”  God will glance up at you.

“And when your next president asked you to give a little more, and share of your nation’s great bounty, to see to it that your neighbors could rest easier knowing that if they fell ill or came to injury through no fault of their own, or that if their children were born into sickness, they could get reasonable attention, and without the worry of financial ruin, as do the people of any of your nation’s allies, what did you say?”

“Why, my Lord, I had grown weary of being asked of, I have my limits, even You needed a day of rest. I turned my back, and rolled my eyes at the stories of those who suffered.  Can I come in now?”


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