5/13/10 – english haiku

2 things to explain –

I have an idea to expand, as it were, the haiku form into something more suitable for English – the 5, 7, 5 count works for Japanese (and it is based on the number of characters, the spoken syllable count often fudged). So, I am proposing an more naturally English even rhythm of 6, 8, 6 syllables.

And... After 47 years on this planet, I’ve recently experienced – actually, seen – something I never have before.  I swim, and the past year or so I’ve been doing (fumbling) flip-turns – when I get to the wall, curling into a ball and rolling over then and planting and pushing my feet off the wall.  You are on your back, under the water, when you push off.  Yes, an old dog can learn new tricks.  

I mostly swim backstroke. And only in the last few weeks have I kept my eyes open the whole process.  Don’t ask my why my instinct is to shut my eyes when I do this, even as I wear watertight goggles, I guess it just seems the natural thing to do to me puzzling brain.  Anyway, I have kept my eyes open – and the sight of the ceiling above the pool, the lights, through an inch or two of water rippling over my face as I glide,  and over the two or three heartbeats as a I slowly rise til my lips and my goggles face break the surface, is stunningly beautiful.  For some unacessable reason.  And something I’ve never seen before.


spring your legs off the wall
uncoil and water jewels your sight
inches from forever


One response to “5/13/10 – english haiku

  1. I like that you are trying something new with an old form. I love haiku and senryu and use them a lot; it’s nice to see others experimenting.

    I really like this.


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