10/21/10 – why I don’t feel like writing

Okay, I probably shouldn’t admit this so publicly, but about 3 weeks ago I started taking Lexapro, a medication that reduces anxiety and OCD.

Unlike my past times taking such medication, about 20 and again about 10 years ago, its side effects are minimal, maybe even all but nonexistent, and I have felt fine and sharp here at the beginning.   Medicine keeps improving.

And, it has taken the edge off my continual existential concerns.  The little bit of OCD I have – like going back into the house after I’ve stepped out and locked the doors to make sure my bed heating pad, the oven, the furnace, are really shut off – is taking a bit of a slower slope down.

So, I find I’m not so obsessed with keeping up the blog writing every day this year.

But, I’ve come this far – I think it will be 300 days and posts next week.

It’s really become even more a challenge.  Because I see the – perhaps ‘ridiculousness’ is too strong a word – of doing anything absolutely every day.

But I still want to, with only a couple months plus to go.


2 responses to “10/21/10 – why I don’t feel like writing

  1. Coming up on six months of daily posting, I find myself thinking, “Do I really have to do this for another six months?” (I vowed to do it for a year.)

    I’m a little OCDish myself, a lot anxious, and yeah, medication is a wonderful thing. Sometimes, though, I think, “Maybe I just need to find a way to make these things work FOR me instead of AGAINST me.” And maybe keeping on writing day after day, slogging it out, is one way of doing that for me. No way of knowing whether for you it’s counterproductive or not. But for me I think maybe the obsessiveness of daily posting is good for combating the obsessiveness of perfectionism. YMMV …

  2. how amazing life is…. wow a couple of months to go… i find the timing interesting don’t you? so close so far and all that sorta stuff… it has been a pleasure reading your posts, reading your everyday thoughts…

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